


And Days Turned Into Weeks Turned Into Months Turned Into Years

by adhddyke



Series: Not Quite A Video Game- Zombie Apocalypse Survivor AU [3]
Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: A bunch of prequels within a fic set between the two others I have, Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Apocalypse proposal, Bonding, Character Deaths, F/M, M/M, Not really any notable violence, a bit angsty, a bit fluffy, stories within a story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-17
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:21:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,400
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21834343
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adhddyke/pseuds/adhddyke
Summary: (Prequel to 'Delete Saved Game?', with most parts also prequelling 'Not Quite A Video Game. Present parts of the fic take place before the events of 'DSG?' and after the events of 'NQAVG'.)Still in the forest, just a few nights after escaping (and killing) Bob Gray, the survivors discuss their experiences of the apocalypse from the day it all began to the day they got captured by Bob Gray.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Mike Hanlon/Stanley Uris
Series: Not Quite A Video Game- Zombie Apocalypse Survivor AU [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1573150
Comments: 4
Kudos: 12





	And Days Turned Into Weeks Turned Into Months Turned Into Years

**Author's Note:**

> Again, this fic is set after 'Not Quite A Video Game' and before 'Delete Saved Game?', of course with all of the stories they tell being set before the events of either. Hope you enjoy!

It's Beverly who starts it, the seven of them sitting around the fire in an uncomfortable silence brought on by shared trauma and a lack of any actual knowledge about the majority of the people around them. 

"Do you remember it? The first one you had to kill," Bev says, picking at her nails but glaring into the fire, which was beginning to burn the whites of her eyes. "He wasn't any different to them, really. He's the most recent of a long list."

"I've forgotten it," Ben replies with a frown. "I feel terrible about it. It was once a person, and I can't even remember because there's so many."

"That's fine, Ben," Bev says softly. "It's not your fault. It's been years." 

"I always thought it was going to end," Bill mumbles. He isn't talking much, doesn't seem to want to think about the past- the past is where his brother lives now. "I thought that one day I'd be able to finally drop Georgie off at home from the school run." 

"But it didn't stop," Stan says bitterly, spitting out the words, miserably driving a stick into the damp soil below him. Mike pulled him closer. "And the days turned into weeks turned into months turned into years."

"So you remember yours, Bev?" Mike asks. The woman nods, suddenly no longer able to look at the fire. 

"Yeah," she sighs. "Unfortunately."

***

"My dad was… he was always an aggressive man. My mom- she had to leave him. She left us both. And he… I… he got angrier, is what I mean. But no one else was there any more. About a week before the apocalypse began, my dad got worse, in a way. He seemed withdrawn, never talking, just pacing and staring, on the verge of some huge burst of anger worse than any I'd ever encountered or co0uld possibly imagine- I guess, in a way, I was right. 

"Pretty quickly, maybe a couple days after he got worse, I got too fucking scared. I, well, I locked him in his room overnight. I could hear him walking around in there. I hated it. It was atupid. He started banging on the door. I was so sure he was going to be able to break it, and that then he'd kill me. But that was dumb, because he got too weak and tired and just passed out. And I left him there, until the day it began. 

"My neighbour had an Amazon delivery coming. It arrived at the moment the apocalypse began- when was it, mid-afternoon? I was watching. I- uh- shit, I'm not crying. I'm fine, Ben. No, Eddie, fuck your tissues. Save them. Sorry. I, uh, I watched as the delivery driver changed. His eyes glazed over, his skin paled. He tore her apart. That neighbour, she was good. She used to call the cops when my parents fought. She didn't deserve- the delivery guy, he ripped her apart, tore her. I was screaming, and that thing heard- except I saw more of them, emerging from houses, coming up the street. I ran to my daddy's room, because he was strong even if he was scary. 

"And, of course, when I unlocked the door, I was met with something even worse than daddy. It was a monster, and all I could think was about how it couldn't be real. So I couldn't think, but I could still move. It was slow. I ran to my daddy's- my father's- wardrobe and I got the gun he kept before the zombie could get me. And I got it. I never learned how to aim but I was desperate to live so I shot it and shot it, then I took all the ammo he had, and all the food he'd made me buy, and his car keys, and I left. I haven't been anywhere near since, I think."

***

"I'm sorry, Bev," Mike smiled sadly at her. "It really has been a shit time."

"Oh, it was alright," Bev smiled back. "I met Ben pretty soon after." The boy blushed.

“You act like I wasn’t completely useless,” he mumbled shyly. “You made things better for me, though.”   
“Yeah?” Bev nudged him. His blush turning an ever deeper red, almost purple, Ben shifted in his seat and began to speak. 

***

“I know Bev just said she never went near home again- and I suppose that’s normal, or at least fair- not wanting to think about what’s happened to the people that you know. But I couldn’t leave. I was still at home, then. My mom had never come back from work. I still don’t know what happened- whether she was killed or reanimated or escaped or what. Though I’m pretty certain it wasn’t the latter. She loved me and I loved her. We were all we had. She wouldn’t have left without me. I’m not sure why I stayed. I think I needed the comfort of some familiarity after everything I knew was lost and gone- including my control over my own life. 

“And then there was Bev. I heard grunts and screams and all that. It was the first time I’d heard anyone sound normal in so long, impossibly long, though the apocalypse had barely started at that point. So I ran to a window- I was hiding in a library. Nobody really went there, so the only zombie had been the librarian. She, uh, she deserved better than that. I’m calm, I’m fine- you don’t need to hold my h- actually, please do. Sorry. Um. Anyway, I saw Bev. She was amazing, she was doing so great fighting them off. I guess I kind of found myself entranced. But I snapped out of it when I realised she was going to die- there was a bullet wound on her shoulder, and she was going to pass out, and more and more of things were approaching. I don’t think I’d ever felt so worried before. I knew I had to help her- only I’m not a fighter and I never was. I didn’t know what to do. 

“So I took a couple of moments to check out what was going on. And suddenly I was reminded of how near the graveyard was to the library- so no wonder there were more than I could count. But they were also older, more rotten, weaker. So I threw some books at them- yeah, I guess that does sound kind of funny. It wasn’t at the time, though. I was terrified. It stopped a few of them, but it wasn’t enough. So I tied up my blankets and spare clothes- I’d learned how to tie knots from this book I was reading, since I had all the books I could want. Then I cracked the window open and tossed it down. And with the last of her strength Bev clung onto it as I pulled her up. She passed out as soon as she got inside. So I read a bit on dealing with that kind of wound and healed her as best I could. 

“After a few days, Bev woke up and I made her some soup. She looked so ill, so thin and worn- I hated it. Even her hair seemed brittle and sad, so the colour was faded, but I could tell- haha, I could tell how pretty she was. Pretty and brave and strong and brilliant. 

‘Who are you?’ She asked, panicked. 

‘Ben,’ I told her. ‘You were dying. Here, you look like you haven’t eaten in a while.’

‘I didn’t need your help,’ Bev snapped. 

‘Sorry,’ I replied by default. And then she softened. 

‘I’m Bev.’ And we never parted ways after that. 

***

Both Ben and Bev were red by the end of it, their hands grazing.

“That’s so cute,” Eddie cooed. “God, wish I’d met Richie in such a nice way.” 

“Who shot you?” Stan wondered, eyebrows furrowed.

“Some asshole survivors, it’s whatever. Not the point,” Bev shrugged. 

“I think I met Eddie in a cute way,” Richie pouted. 

“I doubt that,” Mike insulted him softly. 

“And I know it’s not true,” Eddie stuck his tongue out at his boyfriend. 

***

“Richie hasn’t changed at all really, since this whole thing began. I suppose none of us can- apart from extra trauma, ha, because it all started before we could fully develop or whatever. But Richie and I were at the same school. And Richie- Richie was the sort of person who everybody knew but nobody was friends with. He was- is- weird- I’m not sorry. He’s always been chaos. Me- I was just irrelevant. Nobody was friends with me and nobody knew me. So Richie and I never really ran in the same circles. Or any circles. I was an outcast for looking too gay and Richie was an outcast for trying too hard to pretend he wasn’t. Yet we ended up being the only people in detention with the drama teacher on the day it began. Richie had said too much to her and I had skipped my lesson earlier in the week. There were too many eyes, too much judgement- it’s irrelevant. 

“But detention had just started when the apocalypse did. I was all nervous- I could tell something was off- and Richie was throwing this stupid ball at the ceiling. One of those glittery balls with a plastic butterfly inside- like you get at bowling alleys and stuff. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. And suddenly the teacher- she just changed. It was horrible. We were screaming and hugging. Then I grabbed the ball from Richie’s hand and just threw it at the thing’s face, and the ball bounced right back towards us as the zombie staggered backwards. We dodged the ball and took off while it was in shock. 

“Of course, it being a school, there were a lot of people nearby. Richie found an unlocked car though- and we ran there. It was an ugly car, it- never mind. One of them came right by us. We’d been lucky running away until then. But I grabbed it by its shirt and shut its head in the door and slammed it again and again until it exploded- and- shit, I can’t breathe- I’m fine, I’m fine- shut up. We got in the car. Richie started to drive but he was bad at it and slow so I took over. I’m a fast driver, you know? No, it’s not sc- okay, maybe it’s a little scary. But I drove and I kept driving. 

‘Holy shit,’ Richie gasped, breathless. ‘You’re badass! It’s kinda hot, you know- ‘cause you’re so twinky, but so punk and that. Christ on a bike, I’d let you tie m-’

‘You wanna shut the fuck up?’ I snapped. He was annoying, and he was making me blush. Nobody had complimented me before, even if it was a little weird and overbearing. 

‘I might have just jizzed a little,’ Richie said, relentless. ‘Unless that’s zom juice.’

‘Stop deflecting, stop trying to act unbothered,’ I told him, and he seemed to calm down, you know? He was listening, and relaxing a bit. ‘Look, we’re fucked. So let’s unfuck this a bit and figure out a plan, or I’ll kick you out of my car.’ 

‘I found it! It’s my car!’ Richie whined. 

‘Is it?’ 

“Obviously, we lost the car. We stopped being able to fill it up with gas and we weren’t about to waste time pushing it to the next location. But we were good together, we are, we balance each other- okay, never mind, enough being genuine. I’ve been stuck with this dickhole for five years.”

***

“Only five years and you fight like an old married couple,” Bill told them. He seemed off, like thinking about the past was too much for him. 

“Mm” Richie nodded. “I’ll love you even when you’re shrivelled and ugly, Eds.”   
“And I’ll love you when you shrivelled and uglier,” Ed retorted.

“Hey!” It was optimistic, anyway. But recently they had all been feeling like optimism was a lot more allowed. 

“That is cute,” Ben assured Eddie. “He would be dead without you.”

“I can’t pretend he hasn’t saved my life. I guess,” Eddie always seemed uncomfortable admitting loving things. Strange how internalised things could remain until the whole world was dead. 

“Stan and I grew up in the same town, too,” Mike offered. 

“Don’t embarrass me,” Stan commanded quietly, staring into the fire. 

“Never,” Mike assured him. 

***

“We didn’t go to the same school, even though we were in the same small town. My parents were Catholics, and I went to the Catholic school. Stan’s dad was the Rabbi, but there wasn’t a Jewish school, so he went to the public school. So we’d never really spoken before, either. It felt forbidden, in a way. But both of us were lonely, I knew. I’d recognised Stan around town before. I always thought- ahh, I always thought he was cute, you know? 

“As you know- no groans- I grew up on a farm. My parents were out of town when it all began, so I was tending to it myself. I suppose I was lucky, being in the middle of nowhere when it began. In a way, though, it was bad- because I didn’t have a clue what was going on until some zombies made their way near me. I sat from my window, seeing this group of about four or five people around my age coming up to the barn. I thought- I thought people were coming to burn us out of town again. I’m fine. Anyway, I thought they must be crazy, because they just started to shake this tree outside the barn. It seemed so pointless but they looked so purposeful. I knew there was a bird’s nest in there, so I got a bit pissed off- angry, I got a bit angry. I’m fine. There were baby birds there. I went out of the house to chase them off, and I took my dad’s gun just in case there was- were- any issues. Round those parts you could never be too sure.

“When I walked out, they didn’t seem that bothered. They were too focused on this tree and shaking it. Crackheads, I was sure. 

‘Hey! What are you doing?’ I yelled. It was like they didn’t hear me, though- these days zombies are tougher, and they would’ve come for me. ‘Get away from there!’ I raised the gun, planning to just shoot the ground and scare them off. Then they kept shaking the tree and this boy fell out. Stan. And weakly he sat up and began to rock, terrified. They limped towards him, and I acted on impulse, even though I hated doing it. I realised what they were in that moment, though I couldn’t fully believe it. So I guess I do remember my first, Bev. My daddy, he’d spent the last summer teaching me to shoot- and I shot. Just as they were nearing on Stan, I shot. And they all fell. Stan started to scream, over and over again. He ran towards him, concerned, trying not to look at the things I had just- I had just killed. 

“He was still rocking, his head tucked into his knees, his eyes fixed on the grass, his back repeatedly hitting the tree. I reached out and touched his shoulder- and he stared right up at me. 

‘Hey, I’m Mike,’ I said, sounding a bit stupid, probably. ‘I’m going to ask a few questions, okay? You just answer them as best you can.’ He managed a shaky nod. ‘Right. What’s your name?’

‘Stanley Uris. Stan.’

‘Good to meet you, Stan. How old are you?’

‘F-fifteen.’

‘Me too! You got a lucky number?’ He snorted at that, which I figured was good. 

‘No. They’re a bit dumb.’ 

‘Well, mine’s ninety-five. No particular reason, just like how it rolls off the tongue.’

‘I guess if I had to pick, it’d be seven. It’s a good number. It feels like a correct number.’

‘You got a favourite animal, Stan?’ And he lit up, and I was in love.

‘Birds,’ he answered immediately. ‘But don’t make me pick just one. I was- I was watching birds- in your tree, sorry- when they- when-”   
‘Hey, hey, it’s okay. You’re safe. What birds do you know, huh? List them for me- uh, in alphabetical order.’

“And he did. That’s how he came to list them like that when he’s scared. I’m glad everyday that I saved him. He made the whistle I have and showed me how and I made the one he has- that was just before we left. When we have to separate a bit, we blow it and know each other are safe. I don’t know how I’d be doing without Stan. I really don’t.” 

***

“You’re embarrassing me,” Stan said, but he was no longer staring at the fire. Instead, he was looking right at Mike. 

“Don’t be silly,” Mike told him fondly. 

“You guys make me wanna barf,” Richie declared. “My turn! I can make you barf!” 

***

“A couple years back, me and Eds- whatever, Stan, Eds and I- were obviously very much in love. And we were walking through this shopping mall we were hiding out in, beating the shit out of whatever zommo decided it was a good idea to attack us. It was the same shopping mall we copped Batilda at, actually. So it was super fun swinging that new bad bitch at all the mouldy fuckers who wanted to be us so bad. 

“Anyway, we passed this jewellery shop and my first thought was… wow, cool, I can finally get my ears pierced without my dad calling me gay! So, I turned to Eds and I’m like:

‘Yo, Eds, pierce my ears? Maybe I can get cool long feathered earrings and look like a pirate or something.’ 

‘I’m not trained, dumbass,’ Eds replied, all mean and that. ‘’Sides, we won’t be able to keep up without taking care of it. You’ll get an infection and maybe you’ll die.’ No, Eds, you absolutely did say that I might die! It was dumb- and cute! Anyway, that gets me all sad, because I could’ve been all dressed like some proper Hollywood glamour model or something- the Girl with a Pearl Earring. I could have got hoops and looked proper badass. I used to have these badass boots- anyway, I wasn’t happy. 

‘Guess we’ll loot everything except earrings, then,’ I said, no, I didn’t sulk. Actually, I guess I did a bit.

‘I want to get medical supplies blah blah I’m so stupid blah,’ Eds said, exactly like that. Exactly like that! 

‘No! Wait!’ I exclaimed, falling to my knees all romantically and heroically, having grabbed some kickass, sexy rings. ‘There’s a church or something near here right?’ 

‘There’s a fake one at the casino we passed yesterday,’ Eds shrugged, and then his eyes narrowed like a sexy, sexy snake staring at its prey. ‘Why?’ 

“Still on my knees, I looked at him. And, I well- uh, let’s end the story here. I forgot how much I hate this. I won’t! No, I won’t! Ugh, okay, fine, I’ll finish. I started to cry, alright? Everything was a lot. And I- I joke a lot and that, but I love Eddie and I did then and I did before the apocalypse, even if he thinks nobody knew him, okay? I’m whatever. I’ll keep going. 

‘I love you, Edward Kaspbrak,’ I said. ‘I’d have loved you if this never brought us together. Shit might be the world’s destiny, but you’re mine. There’s nothing else for me out here. Only you. You’re it for me. I sound like a total douchewagon right now, you know? Never been a player exactly, have I? Shit, you make me weak. You’re all I can think about and I guess what I’m trying to say is I’ll never be good enough for you but I hope you’ll take me forever anyway?’ 

‘Save it for the vows, dumbass,’ Eddie said, and he kissed me and pulled me to my fucking feet. ‘Richard Tozier. You are my reason to live. Even when you’re an idiot, I love it. There is nothing I don’t love about you. Everything is so scary- but you make it so much less scary. You make me whole. You are absolutely good enough for me, you big goof. I don’t know what will happen next, but I know I want to experience it with you. You are absolutely good enough for me because we were made to be together.’ And then I kissed him and then we found that stupid casino.

“I guess the moral of the story is that I love the shit out of my ball and chain. He truly has chained my balls. Okay, okay. Love goes on, you know? We still deserve good things, and we still feel. For all we know we’re the only humans left out there, but we’re fucking good ones if I do so say so myself.”

***

“Don’t make me cry, you dickweed. I hate you,” Eddie batted his husband.

“You’re right,” Stan said. “I do want to be sick.”

“I believe I said barf,” Richie corrected. 

“Shut up, Richard,” Bev said, sounding tired now. They were all a bit worn out, and soon it would be time to sleep. And when the bad dreams would come, at least they would wake up to each other. 

“I can’t stop dreaming about him,” Stan admitted, blurting the words out before he could restrain himself. Mike pulled him against his shoulder. “Bob Gray. It’s weird. He hurts me more than those things ever have. And my fingers still hurt.”

***

“I just- I remember the day he took us so well. There had been a zombie hoard, and it was cutting right through us. Mike and I were separated. I climbed a tree. I always climbed trees, even after that first day. I felt safe. They seemed focused on something else, anyway. So I was able to climb away quick enough for them not to notice me. I blew into my whistle. I like my bird-whistle. Mike is the only thing that makes me feel safer than it. But suddenly neither were able to help me much, because he didn’t blow his back. He didn’t blow it back. I panicked. Of course I did- I, I’m not always much help, ha. It’s fine. I panicked. So I listed my birds, and relaxed a little. 

“Then I saw it. Bob Gray was staring right at me and- and he had Mike, knocked out, in his arms. The zombies were all gone, then. Led away. I guess Gray had some bait or something running through the forest. This forest. I should feel unsafe here. I don’t, though. It’s usually calm, and it always will be, now. But in that moment I was far from calm. I wasn’t just panicked, though. I was angry. I knew I was being lured, being challenged- but what could I do. He grabbed Mike’s whistle and blew it. It was disgusting, horrible, disgusting. A mockery of the things important to me. So I jumped down from the tree and headed for him- quietly, as to not alert the zombies of my presence, since they couldn’t be too far away then. I raised the bat I had- no, it does not have a name, don’t be ridiculous. But he dropped Mike and grabbed the bat before I could do anything. He swung at me and I ducked. I kicked at his legs and he fell over. I felt strong. Then I didn’t. I got distracted, staring at the blood on Mike’s forehead. I could feel how the air shifted around me, hear how the wind whipped- all as he lowered the bat towards my head with just enough pressure not to kill me but knock me out- and that’s how I knew something was off. 

“I woke up after Mike, once we were in the cage. I woke up to him stroking my hair, my head in his lap. 

‘I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘I should have saved us.’

‘It’s not your fault,’ Mike whispered. ‘It’s not your fault.’ 

‘It’s not our fault,’ I altered, and Mike hesitated before nodding. He reached my hand out and stroked his face. That was when I noticed the man in the corner- Bill. Alone. ‘What’s going on here?’ I asked him. Maybe I sounded frightening, too pushy. Mike touched my arm, probably telling me to lay off. 

‘You’re doomed,’ Bill told us. And I could tell, then, what was happening. I almost wish we’d got out sooner- but then we never would have met the rest of you. God, I sound ridiculous.” 

***

“You could never sound ridiculous,” Mike assured him. “Nobody blames you for anything, you know?” 

“I guess I wasn’t much help myself,” Bill said sadly. “I should’ve been defending everyone. I should be-”   
“It’s fine, Bill,” Mike assured him, too.

“Yeah, you got us out. It was epic,” Richie added. 

“Right,” Bill smiled, still looking sad and a bit pathetic. But he was finally ready to share. 

***

“When it began, I was collecting Georgie from school on the walk back from my own. That was the routine, I suppose. I was walking in that direction with this girl I knew back then. She had a crush on me, though I didn’t really like her. Audra. She was great, though. Maybe it was mean to never tell her I wasn’t interested. Whatever. She’s in the past. It’s all- it’s all in the past. 

“When Georgie and the other kids left the building, they were screaming. And I felt paralysed. It was terrifying, seeing them like that. Georgie ran straight into my arms. 

‘Are you alright?’ I asked, crouching a bit to look right into his eyes. It was a bit patronising, probably. He wasn’t a little kid, you know? But he was crying, so he looked a few years younger. He never got to answer before I saw those things come staggering out of the building like drunks hobbling out of a taxi. I got over my paralysed fear- I knew I had to now. I scooped Georgie up onto my back and grabbed Audra’s hand and led the two of them away, running. I avoided the main roads. I realised that some people were following us, without words naming me a leader. I didn’t know whether to like or hate it. It was scary enough knowing I was about to have to be responsible for Georgie and even Audra.

‘I’m not alright,’ Georgie answered me once I’d stopped running, right in the middle of this great field. That made me laugh. I let him down and began to laugh. I must have looked crazy. Audra looked at me with so much concern, but Georgie laughed, too. So I guess it was genetics, ha. 

“Pretty soon, we were all hiding out as a group in this abandoned building. They all trusted me, because I was the leader. We’d have people go on supply runs in groups. Sometimes people didn’t come back. Sometimes people brought back more people. I’d never encountered any issues until the one time I did. I was searching for more canned foods and medicine and blankets with Audra and Georgie, because it was almost winter and we wouldn’t be able to go on as many runs, then. It would get dark too early and people would get too sick and the snow and ice could be unmanageable. 

“There was a truck we had. We were able to fill it up quite a bit. I wasn’t a great driver- my parents had never really bothered trying to teach me. Audra’s had, but she was too scared to drive. So were driving pretty far out, scouting for somewhere new. And when we found this supermarket that wasn’t on our survivor’s maps, the ones we were making marking out where different things were and where he had been, I was prepared to go in first to make sure everything was safe, like I always did. But Audra, she wasn’t so happy to this time.

‘I want to help out more,’ she insisted. ‘You don’t have to be a hero, you know? You can just be Bill.’

‘Maybe next time,’ I dismissed. ‘You shouldn’t try out entering first somewhere new. You haven’t had enough practice. It’s dangerous.’

‘I like Bill going first,” Georgie added. 

‘I want to go first this time,’ Audra urged. ‘Just this time, please. I’ve gone on enough runs now to know protocol. It’s fine. I can be a hero like you Bill.’ 

‘Me, too,’ Georgie decided. 

‘You’re too young, Georgie,’ Bill refused quickly. ‘But- ugh- be safe, Audra.’ 

“We were lucky. She entered and there wasn’t really a problem. Of course there were some zombies, but we dealt with those and got what we needed. Then, as we were putting everything into the truck, Audra realised she needed the toilet. And stupidly, I let her go back in to find the toilet there. When she came back, she was sobbing, holding out her arm. She was covered in blood. There had been one in the toilet, and she hadn’t expected it. It bit her before she was able to kill it. I was terrified. I hadn’t lost anyone I cared about. 

‘What do we do?’ Georgie whispered as I stared. ‘Do we have to-’

‘Please just kill me, Bill,’ Audra begged. ‘I don’t want to be like them. I’d rather die.’ I started to shake. I couldn’t kill her, I knew. 

‘Get in the truck. Both of you,’ Bill commanded. Georgie looked confused and Audra seemed shocked. Then she shook her head. 

‘I’ll hurt you,’ she whimpered. 

‘Maybe it won’t turn you,’ Bill denied. ‘Or maybe we can fix it. We don’t know how long it takes for the bite to come into effect, if it does- we- we- we don’t have to leave you behind. Everybody deserves a chance in life, a chance to live.’ I was stuttering so badly I can’t believe either of them were able to understand what I said. 

“Neither Audra nor Georgie believed me- I didn’t believe myself- but she got in the truck. I think she wanted to make me happy. But we got back, and unloaded our stuff- and none of us said anything about Audra getting bitten. I was on watch with a couple others when it happened. I was trying to think about how we could help her. But of course we couldn’t. She turned. It happened quickly, which I’m glad for. I’m not sure Audra ever really felt it- she had been asleep. I hope she wasn’t aware it happened, anyway. She didn’t kill anyone- they, uh, got her in the head before she- it could. But they knew I was responsible, and even if I had been their leader since the apocalypse began, they couldn’t trust me anymore. I was going to put them all in danger. So Georgie and I were sent away. 

“We ended up near the forest. I thought it would be a good place to get away from the zombies for a while. I just wanted Georgie to be safe. I had failed to save Audra, but he was still there. We ended up at his house, and figured it was abandoned. And, well, ha, it wasn’t. He pretended to be nice- led us into somewhere to sleep for the night. But it wasn’t a bedroom, obviously. I hated that cage. I should’ve known better, but I was so tired and so desperate for there to be someone to take care of us. I should’ve- I should’ve saved Georgie. I was supposed to be able to.”   
  


***

“It’s Gray’s fault, not yours,” Bev reminded him urgently. “You got us out. You saved us. And you got revenge for Georgie. And Audra- you were trying to be good. I think she’d forgive that.”

“I suppose,” Bill sighed. All of them were watching him, his mood obvious and frightening. “I’m not tired. I’ll watch the whole night. You guys need more sleep tonight.” And while they all wanted to contest that, Bill left to take a piss so nobody could challenge him in his bad decision. 

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thanks for reading and I hope you liked it!


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